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2023

Making Peace with ADHD

Life deals everyone a unique set of cards. Sometimes they’re stacked in your favor, and other times, not so much. For me, ADHD is one of those cards that sits on both sides of the fence. It has helped me in some ways and held me back in others. Over the years, I’ve had to learn how to live with this give-and-take dynamic, and this post is about how I’ve managed that journey and found some semblance of peace along the way.

When I was first diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, my parents were told that medication could help “calm me down” and “pay attention in class.” I don’t think I fully understood what that meant back then, but what I do remember is how Ritalin made me feel: sluggish, disconnected, and like a shell of my usual self. Sure, I could sit still and focus, but it didn’t feel right. It was as if my personality had been muted. Eventually, due to changes in our life circumstances, I stopped taking the medication around the age of 13. Going from being medicated daily to stopping cold turkey was a shock to my system—not in a harmful way, but in a noticeable one. It felt like someone had taken the limiter off my energy. Suddenly, I could run, play, and just be a kid again.

However, this newfound freedom came with its own set of challenges. Outside of school, my energy was a blessing. Inside the classroom, though, it became a curse. Without medication, paying attention became a monumental struggle. I couldn’t keep my focus on things I found dull or uninteresting, no matter how hard I tried. This disconnect marked the beginning of my journey to understand and work with my ADHD rather than fight against it. Around the same time I stopped taking medication, something pivotal happened: I got my first computer that I didn’t have to share with my sister. This single event changed everything. I didn’t know it then, but this was the beginning of a lifelong passion that would shape not just my interests but my career and identity.

Whenever I sat down in front of that computer, something inside me clicked. The chaos of ADHD—the distractions, the wandering thoughts, the inability to focus—would melt away. I could dive deeply into learning about computers and technology, and the knowledge would stick. It wasn’t the fleeting, use-it-or-lose-it type of learning we often experience. This was different. Everything I absorbed while working on computers felt like it was being engraved into my brain permanently. ADHD has always been a double-edged sword. On one hand, it made school difficult. Subjects that didn’t interest me were almost impossible to sit through, and my grades reflected that. On the other hand, when I found something that did capture my attention, like computers, it was as if ADHD became my superpower. The hyperfocus that kicked in allowed me to immerse myself in technology in a way that felt effortless and natural.

This dynamic taught me an important lesson: I can’t force myself to care about everything, but when I care deeply about something, I’ll go further than I ever thought possible.

Looking back, I’m grateful for the role ADHD has played in my life. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s shaped who I am. The struggles in school pushed me to find creative ways to learn, and the hyperfocus gave me the tools to pursue my passions with a level of dedication I wouldn’t trade for anything.

That first computer? It’s where my journey into technology began, and it’s a thread that runs through everything I do today. My love for computers and problem-solving has turned into a career I’m proud of, and it all started with that wild mix of challenges and opportunities that ADHD brought into my life. ADHD isn’t something you “fix” or outgrow—it’s something you learn to live with. For me, that means leaning into the things that spark my interest and finding ways to work around the things that don’t. It’s a constant balancing act, but one that I’ve learned to appreciate over time.

If you’re someone navigating life with ADHD, know this: it’s not always easy, but it can lead to incredible things if you let it. Find what lights you up, follow it, and let the rest fall into place.